My son Dylan died 12 years ago today (January 6th). Dylan was diagnosed with Krabbe Disease when he was 8 months old, and he lived to be almost 5 years old. During that four-year period, I railed at God. I was angry. Why? Why him? Why me? Why us? Why haven’t you healed him? Why won’t you take this burden from me? We finally realized that we could not, with our earthly minds, fathom an answer that would satisfy us. God could have miraculously spoken audibly to me personally and said “Because ____” and it still would not have satisfied me. There would never be a good enough reason, something that would make me say, “Ok. You’re right. Take my son.” So, after much ranting, I tried to let go of the question.
James Dobson wrote an excellent book entitled When God Doesn’t Make Sense. Dobson says that God’s purposes are beyond the reach of mortal man. It is an incorrect view of scripture to say that we will always comprehend what God is doing and how our suffering and disappointment fit into His plan. When times get desperate, it may appear that God has lost control – or perhaps, interest – in our lives. That is only an illusion, but one with dangerous implications for our spiritual and mental health. Interestingly, it is not pain and suffering that do the greatest damage to our faith. It is confusion. So, my friends, let us not be confused. God IS with us and He DOES love us, even when we are not receiving the answer we want.
There are many Biblical examples of God’s children suffering through traumatic experiences. But that does NOT mean that God has abandoned us. There is sometimes a greater purpose to pain than being relieved from it. God uses that pain – it is not wasted. Here are some of the by-products of suffering: it humbles us, it makes us more dependent on God, it weans us from the allurements of the world, it vitalizes our prayers, and it makes us more compassionate toward others in pain. We can take a measure of comfort in knowing that our suffering is not wasted.
Practically speaking, many of our questions (especially those that begin with “Why”) will have to remain unanswered on this earth.
So, dear friend, I encourage you to try to let go of the question.
~ Amy May
Mother of Dylan May (1/16/04-1/6/09)
Dear Lord Jesus,
Please be with me today.
I turn my circumstances over to You because I cannot do this on my own. I need You in the midst of this pain.
Fill me with Your presence and Your peace.
You know my thoughts and feelings of anger and frustration.
Thank You for loving me anyway.
Please help me to use my strength and energy where it is needed, and not to struggle in vain. I am being pressed on every side, but don’t let me be crushed. I am perplexed, but don’t let me despair. I am struck down, but help me to know that I am not destroyed.
Help me to know that You are in control and will never abandon me.
Please help me carry this burden, Father.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.