Lord, Your Word says that before You formed me in my mother’s womb, You knew me, and before I was born and inhaled my very first breath, You set me apart.

When I was a child, did you prepare me for this?

Did You know that my heart would be crushed?

Did You set me apart to walk through this season of sorrow?

I am eager to know. Did You see this coming and withhold Your hand?

When You planned this all out in eternity past, did You know I would be crushed in spirit?

Did You know I would feel forsaken and ambushed by fear?

Father, I am desperate for You to do something, anything to take this pain from me.

I’m weak and frail.

Everyday I weep, crumpled in a heap of uncontrollable anguish.

Is this the life I have been set apart for?

Please help me to understand what’s going on.

And when I don’t understand Your ways, help me to just trust You.

Is this part of the good work You have prepared in advance for me to do?

This can’t be good, Lord.

But I don’t want to retreat and run if this is where You want me to be.

If this is where You are, then it’s where I will stay.

In my heart I have set apart Christ as Lord, but right now I feel so unprepared to give a reason for the hope I have.

I’m a complete disaster.

Please deflate the self-centered arrogance in me that would blind me from seeing the fullness of all of You have planned in my suffering.

Less of me, Lord Jesus, and more of You is what I long for.

To You, my God, belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding.

To You belong all strength and victory.

What You tear down cannot be rebuilt. If You hold back the waters, there is drought.

Lord, let your living waters flow freely.

Rebuild what has been torn down within me.

Bring victory where I fear defeat.