I’ve knocked and knocked, and still the door stays closed.

I’ve cried and cried till my tears run dry…heart broken, hopes dashed, dreams crushed.

The doubts insist on rearing their ugly heads, but I don’t doubt You, Lord.

I don’t doubt Your love or Your promises.

I question my heart and second-guess my motives, wondering if I hunger and thirst for righteousness…or am I just too tired to fight this fight anymore?

Do I over-spiritualize my longings, hoping to please You, hoping to persuade You to answer according to my will rather than Yours?

You are silent, and I am sad and confused…until a soft, soothing whisper fills my heart and echoes through my soul, strengthening me as I realize You are the Lord and I love Your will.

I long for it.

I discover that there are worse things than when prayers aren’t answered.

Such as when prayers aren’t prayed, and they just wither unsaid in the heart.

There is no joy like falling at Your feet and watching You capture my tears…when my prayers are prayed.